Seen it all - Fixing split pants in the men’s room…

I’ve said, time and time again, that in the years I’ve been doing weddings and events, I’ve seen many things. Part of that is being a PART of the many things that happen. Comical circumstances that leave an impression and in turn, generally a fairly good story to tell. So I give you one of my stories, which just so happened to have occurred this past weekend.

During a particularly fun dance set, one of the male guests decided that he’d show the world his ability to do a split. I have to say, being limber enough to do a split in your late 20’s/early 30’s is impressive. Being a guy and doing it made me tap Rob on the shoulder as he was mixing to witness the marvel. After his 3rd attempt something clearly went wrong. His pants were obviously NOT as flexible as he was. After some laughter and requisite pictures with the groom, I made my way over to his girlfriend to offer assistance. Namely, either a sewing kit or a number of safety pins. I do after all pack an ‘emergency kit’ of everything you can possibly imagine.

What happened next is where even more hilarity ensued. His girlfriend claimed “I can’t sew!” and he pleaded with me in his slightly inebriated state to help him fix his pants as he could not possibly do it on his own. Do you see where this is going? I agreed thinking he’d remove the pants in the men’s room, hand them to me where I’d fix them while he waited and then return them. Easy as pie right?

WRONG

On his and his girlfriend’s insistence, I ended up IN the Men’s Room (which was WAY uglier then the ladies room) with him and his girlfriend where he promptly removed his belt and pants in front of me as I stood there staring at the floor. He had managed to tear the pants at the seam from the zipper on the crotch all the way back up to the belt fold. It was quite the tear. I fixed it with safety pins while relentlessly giggling at the conversation between him and his girlfriend and repeating to myself – I can’t believe I’m doing this. And I was stuck doing it in the men’s room as not only was it was the place with the best lighting BUT they wouldn’t let me leave. I was midway done when the groom bursts through the bathroom door followed by a slew of men who had heard that Mr. Torn Pants was in the bathroom with 2 women. And there was the proof as I stood with the girlfriend and him in a dress shirt and boxer briefs! Bathroom party of 3 soon became the party of 20 as everyone crammed in for a photo op as even the photographer had made his way back.

I could not stop laughing. Even funnier to me was the fact that after the photo, one guy turned to me and Mr. Torn Pant’s girlfriend and said “I’m sorry but I can’t wait” and proceeded to make his way over to the urinals to pee!!! I was laughing on the verge of tears while simultaneously being incredibly embarrassed. I finished the fix and was out of there as quick as possible. But that story is definitely a keeper!

The photographer promised to send me the picture.